Hand vs. machine: creaming the old fashioned way

Posted by Carole on May 23, 2011

"Masturbation" by Gustav Klimt (1913)

I’ve long held the opinion that doing things the old fashioned way is most often the best. Whether it’s making a cake from scratch, writing letters, and yes, even masturbation, I think things done by one’s own hand create a better result. This is a point of disagreement and even disbelief among my fellow bloggers and some friends. “You don’t use a vibrator?!”

Kit of Blogging Dangerously loves to talk about her toys. One of the first articles I read of hers was about her Carmen Electra. Ironically, it was the same vibrator I had purchased in an attempt to help one lover reach that elusive and coveted simultaneous O. After reading Kit’s article, I could never use mine again. Her words would pop into my head every time I looked at it. She’s a clever writer and nice person, but my bedroom is the last place I want to see/think of her. I’m sure the feeling is mutual. Moreover, I realized the use of machinery created a deficit in other areas.

The Feel and Smell


Greek pottery image of a woman with two dildos



The biggest downfall of toys versus manual masturbation is the feel. Body parts are soft and tender… fleshy. Most toys for women (unless you’re using a dildo) are made of metal or hard plastics. Even so-called flesh-like toys are still missing the feel of real flesh. I also wonder about the leeching of chemicals from the silicone and plastics. But assuming you’re not concerned about BPA and your mucus membranes, there’s just no substitute. During my Classical studies of Greco Roman sexuality; I remember reading that while ancient Greek women used dildos (made of leather), the tool was not ideal as “it lacked heat.” Another part of the joy of sex, whether with a partner or alone (“with someone you love” Woody Allen) is the smell. Indeed, the smell can intensify excitement. Like fresh baked bread – the reaction it produces is unique and priceless. Vibrating silicone not only lacks heat, it lacks sexy funk.

The Mind Body Connection
While some may see masturbation as a quick tension release when a partner is unavailable, I see it as an opportunity to build your sexual practice. Both men and women can use this time to explore what pleases, what teases and what creates orgasm. It is also an opportunity to build your multi-orgasmic ability – men included. The electric connection between fingers and genitalia is another part of masturbatory pleasure. The use of a toy can cause you to lose connection with your own body. Honestly, I think it creates emotional distance with the toy becoming an intermediary. My suggestion is to keep your own hand in the game to keep connected both physically and mentally.

An Exception to my Rule
So with all this talk about the hand versus toys and machines, there is one toy that I do recommend to men. I’ve given several away as gifts and think for the price point and for occasional use, it’s a great little find. The Tenga Egg is a silicone egg-shaped toy with a hole on one end. There are several different eggs with varying internally ridged designs. It’s sort of like masturbating with a very stretchy, thick, bumpy condom, “A posh wank” as my English friend Jordan calls it. My male friends report that the Tenga Egg is a great experience. At less than $12 a pop, it’s a fabulous stocking stuffer.

Happy Ending
What is really important is that you enjoy your time with you. There’s no reason to rush the fun and experimentation is the spice of life. While I hand cream my cakes instead of using a Kitchenaid, that’s not to say a Kitchenaid is a bad tool. It is another option to play with in your kitchen. I’d love to hear what works best for you.

7 Responses to Hand vs. machine: creaming the old fashioned way

  1. Sassy

    Because I lack any toys, the hand rules in my house in more ways than one! Not that I wouldn’t use one, just that I haven’t had wherewithal to get some adult toys.

    BTW- best stress relief there is!

    • Carole

      I think toys have there place and in moderation are fine. Kit can recommend an arsenal. The mind body connection though is so important and I think is lost over time when people become dependant on machinery.

  2. Okechukwu Ofili

    Great article as usual. You do raise some great points…I can’t fully relate since I have never masturbated in my life…lol…I kid. I definitely think natural is the way especially for guys…also the maintenance and cleaning required for toys is quite #$#%#%# so yeah…hands win!

  3. Lawrence Lorenzo

    Yes…. And yes to the article may I say a little risky …but debatable depending on gender, what you want, how fast, how slow etc., you want to masturbate (i.e. to relax, a quick one, more pleasure than comfort). I feel its relative depending on the above but I think for guys it’s definitely the hand and for women defiantly the batteries…..happy ending are always encouraged….

  4. Jay Walker

    I think you hit the nail on the head. I think toys are a great addition to, not substitution for, hands (or other body parts if you have a partner). I think that if you start to rely too much on a machine, you begin to lose that sensitivity to touch that is so exciting and pleasurable.

  5. buzzvibe

    Great article! I disagree, though. Just as my KitchenAid has allowed me to achieve all kinds of culinary triumphs I never thought possible before I acquired it, my sex toys have enabled me to stimulate myself in amazing new ways. For example, my favorite dildo allows me to reach my g-spot without my wrist cramping, and because it’s glass, I can apply serious pressure there–more than I ever could with just my fingers. I view sex toys not as a replacement for the “real thing” but as enhancements and labor-saving devices. To me, they’re just as useful and invaluable as my KitchenAid mixer and other household appliances.

    • Carole

      Thank you so much for the compliment and comment. I am glad to have differing opinions such as yours. You bring up great points and while I do think toys have their uses, my position (pardon the pun) is that using what you have already at your fingertips (did it again) can be a very rewarding experience, beyond the orgasm. The mind is extremely powerful. So powerful that you can think yourself an orgasm. No hands or toys needed. Using your hands is a way to keep physically and mentally connected to your body without an intermediary.
      This piece really speaks to my broader stance that we’ve become very dependent on technology. And while it has it’s benefits, a very important skillset and method of communication (with self and others) is lost.

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